I didn’t post last week…

I know, big surprise right?  I had started the day wanting to… in fact, the night before I had a post in my head that I was looking forward to flushing it out through the course of the day.  But that didn’t happen.

When the sun don’t shine? (Shine at all)
Don’t it make you smile?

I regret not writing down my idea for my post last week because this week I got nothing.  I’m so emotional drained from the happenings of the week, and I guess the last 3 weeks… It all happened so fast, barely enough time to react or reflect. So my apologies if this comes off as a babble of nonsense… here goes.

It’s no secret that I come from a rather large family… in fact, my extended family on either side I have 50+ cousins if you count spouses.  So to say that my grandparents wanted to spread the family tree would be an understatement.

Don’t it make me smile?
When the sun don’t shine, it don’t shine at all
Don’t it make me smile?

Sunday morning I was informed that my Grandpa had passed away.  Tuesday was visitation, Wednesday was more visitation, the funeral, burial, and sometime to reflect.  During this reflection I was reminded that Ed is currently the only male great-grandchild… he is the only one that will carry on the Sluiter name.

Even now as I type that, it still floors me that given the fact that I have over 25 cousins (not all male), Ed is the only one that will carry on the Sluiter name to this point.  I have a couple cousins that could still get married and have kids.  I’m pretty sure my brother and his wife are looking to start a family at some point, so all hope is not lost.  But just the fact that without Ed and eventually Charlie the Sluiter name could potentially die out at the end of my generation.

I miss you already… I miss you always
I miss you already… I miss you all day
This is how I feel…

I’m 33 years old. I’ve lost a father; and now both grandfathers.  While he didn’t get to meet my father, it is my hope that even at 2 1/2, Ed will be able to retain some memories of the latter two great men.  I will tell him about who they were and what they meant to me and hopefully how they helped shape me into the man that I have become.

Whew!  Was that as wild a ride for you as it was for me?  Ok, maybe not wild, but an adventure to read… nah, probably more work than an adventure.  Thanks for struggling through, I know I’m glad I did.

I miss you already… I miss you always
Three crooked hearts and swirls all around… I miss you all day

- words from the Pearl Jam song Smile.

This week is the start of a new semester for me.  I have two classes I’m looking to take as part of my quest to complete my Network Admin degree by the end of the year.  Tuition was paid, books were purchased, file folders created, pens at the ready.  Everything is on track to dominate another semester and get 2 more classes closer to graduation.

And then Charlie had his latest check up with the doctor.  We now know his birthday as he’ll be arriving via a planned c-section. As Kate and I were discussing his impending arrival, it became obvious that with classes two nights, a recovering Kate, and a fresh baby in the house; the whole schedule wasn’t going to work.

If you’ve ventured over to Sluiter Nation at all, its no secret that Kate has been slowly been winning her battle with PPD and anxiety.  Well, given the arrival of our 2nd child, it started to fester up again.  And being that the lines of communication are open in The Nation, she voiced her concerns, and we went to sleep on it.

This morning after reviewing the schedule and work load associated with her recovery and a new baby; sacrifices for the good of the Nation needed to be made.  We discussed it briefly this morning and shortly there after, Kate’s anxiety has lowered substantially and I’ll be home an “extra” evening this semester.  Win-win.

I really didn’t like my school schedule this semester anyway, so dropping the class wasn’t that big of a deal, and I’d miss time with my boys too, so it really was an easy decision to make.  The only downside is that now I my goal of completing my degree by December might be pushed back a little bit… not a total loss, but a minor set back.

There might not be an I in TEAM, but by dropping that class, we took a big step in avoiding the RAGE that can be in MARRIAGE.

The New Year gives us a moment to reflect back on those things or events that help shape our year and our lives, while the idea of opening a fresh calendar to the first month of the year is like the birth of the person you want to be or the spectacles you hope to witness in the coming year.

Rather than make a list of “resolutions” or the idea that I can make a list of the things that I like least about myself or my habits, and decide that this year I’m going to change; I thought I’d make a list of goals that I hope to achieve this year.  Maybe it’s the same as a resolution, but in some cases, I think it’s different…

Vehicle Upgrade for Kate – it’s no secret that Kate in in need of a different vehicle.  A small, two door coupe isn’t exactly conducive to a hot mama taking the kids home from day care.  Something with four doors at a minimum and decent gas mileage wouldn’t hurt either.

Graduate from College – Some of you will remember that I was fortunate enough to graduate with an Associates of Liberal Arts, and if the schedule at the school works out, I should be able to graduate with an Associates in Network Administration.  This would be great as I’m ready to be done with school for a little while.

Welcome Charlie to the family – My 2^nd son will be joining the family in March.  Given the inspiring journey I’ve made with Eddie thus far, I am super excited to see how the addition of another person to our family dynamic will affect our routine / mindsets / emotional growth.  I can’t wait to become a family of 4.

Ride my bike more – Ok, this really sounds like a resolution… but the truth is, I was fortunate enough to receive a bike last Christmas, but failed to ride it as often as I had hoped to.  This year, I hope to log some miles of pleasure riding as well as for purpose… that is, as an added element to an exercise plan.

The exercise plan – so yeah, resolution #2… but isn’t this one that is on everyone’s list?  And if it’s on our list every year is it still a resolution?   I might even think about running another 5k.  For some reason when there is something to train for, it makes it easier to get out and actually exercise.  So that’s what I’m going to try to do.

Be a better friend – Over the last year or so, I haven’t done a whole lot to maintain those relationships with the friends that I hold near and dear. Most of them are now spread out across the country, that seeing them in person happens so infrequently, I feel guilty when I can’t give them my full attention when they visit.  My goal is to make a more concentrated effort to communicate with them on a more regular basis… be it a text, email, skype session or a hand written note… just something to make sure they know that I’m thinking about them and that they are important to me.

And finally… Blog more – I stated a couple months ago that I was going to try to blog every Sunday… and for the most part I managed to stay true to that goal.  Unfortunately, once finals rolled around and term papers were due, I found it tougher than I had tough to get a post up every week.  In fact, after writing a couple pages for class, I really didn’t want to think about writing anything else, even if it was for fun.  With the New Year, I’m going to try to stick to that Sunday post goal, but not beat myself up if I miss one due to a school requirement.

What about you?  Any goals that you’ve set for yourself in the coming year?  I’d love to hear them, maybe even append my list…

So I assumed my post on the east side of the island in the kitchen with seven bowls of homemade frosting between us and a pile of cookies, my MIL and I got after it.  The family time is something that I really enjoy… with Kate’s brothers living farther away than we typically travel, I really enjoy the time I can spend with them and their significant others… and hanging with the nephew is always good times too.

After cookies, we headed home for a nap for Eddie and what I thought would be a little unwind time for me… but then I remembered some of the items on my honey-do list… so I was off.  Reflector stakes to line the driveway, return cans because the box was full, try not to lose my cool while waiting for the can return machines to be fixed; making friends with a little girl in the cart in front of me was a highlight of that trip as well.

Closing out the evening was a visit with Santa and dinner with Kate and Ed, with a special viewing of The Big Lebowski made my birthday celebration complete.  Given all my little family has been though this past year, both good and bad, I think made this year’s celebration that much more sweet.  Seeing Ed so excited to give me a birthday card brought emotions to the surface I hadn’t ever felt before.  This birthday is one I shall not soon forget.

Thank you family for a wonderful celebration, you make me feel special each and every day!

Everyone has that group of friends, that close circle of people that you feel the most comfortable around, they allow you to be the best you in any scenario… and most Thanksgivings give us either that Wednesday before or Friday night after for a late evening of conversation and storytelling… and typically with some “adult” beverages to lubricate the conversations.

Some in North Carolina…

This year, that didn’t happen.  My friends are smattered across the country, which makes for the gathering of everyone in one place that much more difficult. Normally we gather at a parent’s house, we arrive when we arrive and leave when you want.  But the longer you stay, the more likely you are to see someone that hasn’t been in town for quite some time.

Some in Colorado…

For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t able to see my best friend from high school.  Not that we get together that terribly often, and I’m sad to say, I haven’t been out to see his place in Denver yet, but when he’s around, it brings me back to old times, when he and I could kill an entire day listening to music and shooting pool in his parents basement.

Some in Illinois…

The great thing about those close friends… the really great thing about great friends, is that regardless of how often or rarely that you see them; the minute you share the same space with them, any time spent apart melts away and the chatter picks up right where it left off the year before.

This is what I cherish about my friends, and hope they feel the same way… even if only a little bit.

Having a sick kid is never fun… not for anyone involved.  Those of us who are parents or know how frustrating it can be to try to comfort your child or to get them to chill out so they can find a way to recoup.

This past week Ed has had a pretty fierce cough, so we took him to the doc to get checked out and the result was allergies.

Allergies?  Really?  Ok, I’ll bite, but then why doesn’t the allergy medication do the job and turn the faucet that is his nose off and maybe do something about that cough?

And then to top everything off, Saturday evening while spending a ruckus time with some friends, he gets a fever.  Cue the drugs to take care of the fever and then the eventual dosage of the allergy medication.

Now this is the part where I’m going to take a little side step and make a suggestion to those pharmacists out there.  You know how medications that cause dizziness and drowsiness and they put those brightly color stickers on the bottle to make you aware of those side effects?  My question is; why don’t they have one that says “It might make your child act like a serious wack-a-doo”?  Needless to say, Ed was and has been a serious wack-a-doo about 30-45 minutes after his dosage.

Anyway, some have mention that this symptoms could be the result of additional teething… while this seems odd in my mind, everything but the cough is quite similar to his teething exploits of months past.

The doc said to give a call on Monday if the cough hasn’t left / if he hasn’t improved.  I’ll be on the horn tomorrow morning and see what she’d like us to do.

What I do know is that Ed as a wack-a-doo before bed is not a fun way to end an evening.

May your turkey be moist and delicious, the gravy be smooth and delightful, and the cranberries be not from a can.

Safe travels on your Turkey Day… don’t be afraid to take a nap while the Lions get their backsides whooped by the Packers… as is tradition.

Getting back to that place that helped shape who you are and what made you the person you are today.  For me, it was attending church again for the first time in a long time when it wasn’t a holiday or special occasion… and it felt GREAT!

In my heart I know I never wavered far from my beliefs or my upbringing, but with so many of life’s events going against what I thought was supposed to happen to a faithful Christian had me questioning a little bit… maybe even a lot at some points.  Bad things aren’t supposed to happen to good people, right?  So why the continuous strikes against me? Why the continuous strikes against my family?

And then today, sitting in that hard, wooden pew, the message began… and it hit me in the face.  What have I done for other people lately rather than be concerned with my family and our well-being?   Truth is, I haven’t done a damn thing.  With all the hustle and bustle of school, work, family, fatherhood, trying to be a loving husband to a pregnant wife, I haven’t done a whole lot outside of that to really deserve any of God’s graces.

Today’s message was a story of using your talents and gifts and sharing them with others, so, I’m going to try to improve my efforts to think of others first, and let everything else handle itself.  God doesn’t give you  more than you can handle, so worrying about how to pay for something or plan for something else will work out if it’s meant to be… not to mention, way less stress since time won’t be wasted worrying about it.

After the service Kate asked if she should get a card from the Angel tree so we can buy some gifts for a child that might not get anything otherwise and I told her to go ahead and do it.  Sure it might not completely be in the “budget,” but it felt like the right thing to do.  I’m confident it will work out in the end, and that child might just have a better holiday because of it.

Sorry to have gotten all spiritual on you there… but I felt it was important, especially this time of year.  If you find it in your heart, mind, or spirit, please consider “sponsoring” or being an Angel to a child in need.  There is little that you will find more rewarding.

… and I think we’ll be attending services more regularly now.

Tonight I had the distinct pleasure of spending a lovely meal at my sister’s house with her husband, my brother and his wife, my mother and step-father, and Kate and Eddie.  You see my sister and her husband recently returned from their first trip to Ethiopia.  They are in the middle of the adoption process and had the awesome experience of being able to spend a few precious hours with their soon to be children, and then having to leave them until the paper work clears the embassy… which could be anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks before they will be able to hold their children again… anyway, getting back to that emotion that only a dad can feel…

After dinner we all left the dining room and retreated to the living room to look at some pictures and video from their trip.  These images were some of the first of my new nephews that I had the pleasure of viewing.  And that’s what I saw it.

My brother-in-law, new being a first time father to twin, 6-month old boys from Ethiopia, had that look… that twinkle, the perma-grin type look that only a father can have when he holds, meets, EXPERIENCES his child / children for the FIRST time.  He had it.  As plain as the day is long… I could see it in the photos, in the short video that was shared… he had that look and I knew exactly what he was feeling because I remember how I felt when I held Ed for the first time.

I couldn’t be more happy & excited for my sister and brother-in-law… they are so very happy and excited, and I’d like to think a little terrified about how much their lives are going to change in the next 2-3 months.  They have a blog called Stepping Stones Feel free to pop in and say hello.  I’m sure they would appreciate the support and well wishes!  As the big brother, I couldn’t be more proud.

If you haven’t heard about a Sluiter Nation Recruit, you can check it out here, and while you’re there, why not check out my post. 

That post, in it’s most basic of topics, was a joy to write.  Not only was it fun for me to try to create something worthwhile for Kate’s HUGE readership to consume, but it sparked a renewed enjoyment of putting together a post, flushing out what it is that I want to say, and trying to say it the right way.

The comments were so supportive and genuine, it reminded me how much I enjoy writing and commenting when I have a chance to read your writings.  I will make a pledge to return the favor of your readership and make a presence known on your blogs as well, so let me know when you’re here and where I can find you.

That being said, I’m going to do my best to post at least once per week… probably on Sunday or Monday, in hopes that my writing skills improve, and that you special few who check out my blog will have new posts to read on a more regular basis.

Until next week…

Hard to believe it has already been six years since you’ve left us.  So much has happened in the last two years alone, it is difficult to decide where to begin… but I’ll try.

Two years ago in June your first grandson was born, and he continues to amaze me with how much he is able to absorb and retain each and every day.  He is speaking more and more phrases and is able to repeat many new words on his first try.  He loves the water and is becoming more and more comfortable in his life jacket.  As he gets older, I can’t but help wonder how your influence on his growth would enhance the little boy he is quickly becoming.  You would love him, he’s such a character; he has that little twinkle in  his eye just before he does something he isn’t supposed to that makes me wonder if you somehow had something to do with it.  On the good days and bad, I really wish you were around to offer up parenting advice… or at least share some anecdote on how to handle a particular situation.

This past March I started a new job.  I’ve taken a position working for Construction Specialties as their inside sales person, and assisting with some estimating duties.  The guys I work with are great, and I really feel like I’m starting to hit my stride in this line of work.  Who knew selling truss installations would be so different from selling the trusses themselves.

Kate is looking forward to her second year teaching mainly Spanish at Park after being bumped around from her English position for the last couple years.  Speaking of Kate, she / we are expecting child number two.  She’s 8 1/2 weeks along and is feeling the first trimester blahs in full force.  She’s a trooper and has been dealing with it as best she knows how, and is beginning to know when to ask for help and lean on me a little more than she is accustomed to.

This past May I can finally say I am a college graduate, all be it a lowly Associates degree, I know that you would be proud to know that I have finished, and am still attending to complete my Network Administration degree, and potentially get a Bachelors.  Believe it or not, I graduated with a g.p.a. north of 3.8… hard to believe I know, especially considering how much I didn’t exactly excel the first time I attended.

That is a quick swoosh of what has been going on, and there is more to share, but for now we’ll leave it at that.  Know that while you might not be here in person, I feel your presence everyday.  My goal every morning is to try and do my best to make you proud of me as your son, a husband, a father, and as a man.  I wish there was a way to know your thoughts and feelings about the job I’m doing and the decisions I’m making for myself and my family. I always valued your opinion and insight on everything… and I still do.  Those old stories still find away to work their way in to my everyday life and I want to thank you for that.

Six years have past since you left us, but the pain hurts like it was yesterday.

Love you Pops.

Cortney