Tasty Buttered Toast

Quips and Quandaries from a re-employed house husband

Slacker Jones

Attention!  Attention!  I’d like to make an announcement…

I… am a slacker.

I know you what you’re thinking…”say it isn’t so!  You’re smart, funny, your family is super cool, and some might say you’re devilishly handsome… how can this be?”  While all those things are mostly true, it still remains that I have been slacking on a key household duty… my lawn.

My poor neglected front yard

I’m of the school that says if you have a lawn, you should do your best to make it as manicured, primped, lush, or welcoming as you can.  A man’s lawn is almost an extension of his personality… soft grasses, flowers, landscaping that compliments its surroundings can give one feeling, while dry earth, wilted shrubs, and prickly weeds can give the complete opposite.

Where weeds come to party.

My yard has been doing me as many favors as I have it this summer.  With spring and summer classes, homework, spending time with the family, I haven’t paid the proper attention to my responsibilities as our family’s chief yardsmith.  I haven’t fertilized like normally would, watering has been left to Mother Nature (any of you in the mid west know that this hasn’t exactly been a great year to make that decision), weeds have overrun the landscape like an unwanted gang deciding they are taking over a city block.

Some have a picket fence, I have a row of ugly clover.

I had always tried to keep up with the Joneses.  In fact, one of my neighbors has been given the nickname Mr. Jones because I would try to maintain a lawn of equal or greater value than his.  He’s probably embarrassed to look out his front window with this abomination of a lawn across the street.

If a yard can have acne, mine would be the spokesperson on the late night infomercial.

But, now that summer classes are complete, I have approximately 3 weeks to try to whip my lawn back into shape.  Show it some TLC and remind it that I never left, but had in fact been here the whole time.

Weeds, bugs, and other unwanted baddies… I’m putting you on notice. I’ve lots to do and not a lot of time to do it, so be ready to be gone sooner than later!


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One thought on “Slacker Jones

  1. Hilarious! Can you come take care of ours? It doesn’t look much better! 😉

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