Tasty Buttered Toast

Quips and Quandaries from a re-employed house husband

Archive for the category “Spiritual”

Smile

Don’t it make you smile?
Don’t it make you smile?

I didn’t post last week…

I know, big surprise right?  I had started the day wanting to… in fact, the night before I had a post in my head that I was looking forward to flushing it out through the course of the day.  But that didn’t happen.

When the sun don’t shine? (Shine at all)
Don’t it make you smile?

I regret not writing down my idea for my post last week because this week I got nothing.  I’m so emotional drained from the happenings of the week, and I guess the last 3 weeks… It all happened so fast, barely enough time to react or reflect. So my apologies if this comes off as a babble of nonsense… here goes.

It’s no secret that I come from a rather large family… in fact, my extended family on either side I have 50+ cousins if you count spouses.  So to say that my grandparents wanted to spread the family tree would be an understatement.

Don’t it make me smile?
When the sun don’t shine, it don’t shine at all
Don’t it make me smile?

Sunday morning I was informed that my Grandpa had passed away.  Tuesday was visitation, Wednesday was more visitation, the funeral, burial, and sometime to reflect.  During this reflection I was reminded that Ed is currently the only male great-grandchild… he is the only one that will carry on the Sluiter name.

Even now as I type that, it still floors me that given the fact that I have over 25 cousins (not all male), Ed is the only one that will carry on the Sluiter name to this point.  I have a couple cousins that could still get married and have kids.  I’m pretty sure my brother and his wife are looking to start a family at some point, so all hope is not lost.  But just the fact that without Ed and eventually Charlie the Sluiter name could potentially die out at the end of my generation.

I miss you already… I miss you always
I miss you already… I miss you all day
This is how I feel…

I’m 33 years old. I’ve lost a father; and now both grandfathers.  While he didn’t get to meet my father, it is my hope that even at 2 1/2, Ed will be able to retain some memories of the latter two great men.  I will tell him about who they were and what they meant to me and hopefully how they helped shape me into the man that I have become.

Whew!  Was that as wild a ride for you as it was for me?  Ok, maybe not wild, but an adventure to read… nah, probably more work than an adventure.  Thanks for struggling through, I know I’m glad I did.

I miss you already… I miss you always
Three crooked hearts and swirls all around… I miss you all day

– words from the Pearl Jam song Smile.

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Roots… not just a band.

Sometimes it’s good to get back to your roots.

Getting back to that place that helped shape who you are and what made you the person you are today.  For me, it was attending church again for the first time in a long time when it wasn’t a holiday or special occasion… and it felt GREAT!

In my heart I know I never wavered far from my beliefs or my upbringing, but with so many of life’s events going against what I thought was supposed to happen to a faithful Christian had me questioning a little bit… maybe even a lot at some points.  Bad things aren’t supposed to happen to good people, right?  So why the continuous strikes against me? Why the continuous strikes against my family?

And then today, sitting in that hard, wooden pew, the message began… and it hit me in the face.  What have I done for other people lately rather than be concerned with my family and our well-being?   Truth is, I haven’t done a damn thing.  With all the hustle and bustle of school, work, family, fatherhood, trying to be a loving husband to a pregnant wife, I haven’t done a whole lot outside of that to really deserve any of God’s graces.

Today’s message was a story of using your talents and gifts and sharing them with others, so, I’m going to try to improve my efforts to think of others first, and let everything else handle itself.  God doesn’t give you  more than you can handle, so worrying about how to pay for something or plan for something else will work out if it’s meant to be… not to mention, way less stress since time won’t be wasted worrying about it.

After the service Kate asked if she should get a card from the Angel tree so we can buy some gifts for a child that might not get anything otherwise and I told her to go ahead and do it.  Sure it might not completely be in the “budget,” but it felt like the right thing to do.  I’m confident it will work out in the end, and that child might just have a better holiday because of it.

Sorry to have gotten all spiritual on you there… but I felt it was important, especially this time of year.  If you find it in your heart, mind, or spirit, please consider “sponsoring” or being an Angel to a child in need.  There is little that you will find more rewarding.

… and I think we’ll be attending services more regularly now.

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